


Story of a Girl

by Anonymous



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Don't Judge Me, Other, Paranoia, Please Don't Hate Me, Rants, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:22:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28508889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The story of a girl who is lost and alone.
Kudos: 2
Collections: Anonymous





	Story of a Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: Mentions of depression, anxiety, paranoia, and suicidal thoughts

This is a story of a girl who had long since lost her way. Too many mistakes were made and she no longer knows how to make up for those mistakes. No longer knows if she even wants to make up for those mistakes. All she wants to do is run. Running away is not a solution at all but to her it was the best way to avoid everything. She was scared. She was tired. What was the point of trying to fix things when the one that’s broken was herself? How do you even fix a broken person when they were broken from the start. An imperfect being is how she saw herself. But unlike everyone else, she did not think she could improve herself. Every time she tries she only makes things worse. Then is there a point in trying?

This is the story of a girl who learned to hide herself. Scolded for crying and throwing tantrums as a child; now her tears fall silently and her rage bounces around in her head and heart as the emotions built upon each other with no release. Scolded for lashing out at others; she turned inwards and now lashes out at herself. Though she didn’t forget to hide it. Knives leave scars, so she stuck to nails. Digging them into the skin until it broke, scratching madly at her arms in confused rage. Leaving scars that lasted but a few days; easily hidden under clothes. Yet those times she did expose them, no one noticed. So she realized yet another lesson: no one cares. If no one cared about her, wasn’t it fair to return that lack of affection?

This is the story of a girl who learned to put on a facade. She hid her pain, she hid her tears, she hid her anger, she hid her scars. She buried her affections and empathy deep until she had no clue where to find them anymore. She sends lots of “love and affection” to others. But she no longer knows how much is genuine and how much is a facade. She can no longer differentiate between the facade and herself. Was the love and affection something she truly felt? Or was it fake? She no longer knew.

This is the story of a girl who wept alone with no one to cry out to. Friends all left her; she blames herself. And in all her self pity and depression she still lashes out at others, even her family. Perhaps the anger was not even 1% of the emotions she felt, but she was drowning in the sorrow and rage and couldn’t stop it from leaking out. It did not help that she had a facade. No longer does she know if she even cares for others, no longer does she know if she loves her family.

This is the story of a girl who lost her home. No longer does the bed that support her feel like her own. No longer does the table for family dinners feel like it’s for four. No longer does she feel welcomed and safe. With no home to turn to and no one to love, she wonders what is left.

This is the story of a girl who wonders why she lives. She wonders if things would simply be better for everyone if she disappeared. This is the story of a girl who wants to die but is too afraid to take her own life.


End file.
